But for V-day, not sure… guess we should come up with something. We’ve never been the super romantic couple that has grand gestures of love, we are more the every day in-and-out “i love you” every 1/2 an hour. But there are occassions when we all need something a little grand, I must say. So, who knows - maybe we can get away for a day and just be us. That would be nice.

So, in honor of love day, I’ve created my own love list. Some deep, some not so deep - and only the first bit is actually in order… enjoy. And happy love day!

I LOVE…

…my God
…my husband
…true friendships
…singing my love
…upright pianos
…a good record
…a good latte
…cloudy days
…sunny days
…redemption
…love stories
…window shopping
…unconditioanl love
…red hair color
…restoration
…tights and boots
…smiles that don’t wash away
…a good concert or show
…my dogs
…california evening breeze
…starry nights
…getting caught in the rain
…wildflowers
…a home of my own
…the sound of my parents laughter
…sisters and brothers
…mentors that see your potential
…and so much more…

I remember driving in the car, the long talks, the late nights, the google eye looks… I remember it all. And now I flash back to current day, and realize that our love is so much deeper and wider than I ever thought it could be. We’ve been together for almost 15 years now (as friends, then dating, and now married for almost 10 years). And I love him more than ever, and I know how blessed I am to say that.

In a few weeks Jason and I are performing at an event @ our church for Valentine’s Day… singing love songs and telling our story for an audience of married couples searching for meaning in their relationships or simply celebrating the purpose they are already walking out together. My prayer is we have something significant to share, and something that a couple - newlywed or married much longer than us - can appreciate and keep in their hearts as they walk out life with their husband or wife.

So… what is this particular memory music for me? Tracy Chapman and James Taylor. A little old school now, but in those days, those two artists were played often and they always will have a special place in my library of memory music.

Really I’ve been learning the last few years of my life how to develop this emotional “gift” and not apply it in the opposite way to myself all the time. I have a tendency to be hard on myself… ok really hard on myself. Overly critical, you might say. I have this poster in my office, hanging above my computer that simply says “be nice to yourself”. And when I glance up I can often feel myself breathe a little easier. I have to remember to do that.

I’ve always been the independent over-achiever type - you know the “if you want it done right, do it yourself” girl… even if it means I have stretched myself beyond recognition at times.

So, I’m thinking this new year - this 2011 - I have a goal to be nicer. To myself and to others. And to apply my “emotional” side to good things… like loving, caring and being a fantastic wife and friend. Or believing in myself for once, like really believing I can achieve those dreams in my heart.

Lofty goal I know, but I’m going for it!

Yes I secretly wish they looked good on me. Why? Maybe it’s just cause I have a strong desire to stay current, and not grow into one of those middle-age women wearing ill-fitting bootcut jeans with sparkles on the butt. Oh, and ugly tennis shoes, gotta have those babies on too.

Either way… you have to admit it’s a pretty drastic-fantastic trend. I love the outrageous when it comes to clothing. I take a few risks on my own, but nothing that you might call “fashion guru”. I try. Let’s put it that way.

I’ve actually had quite the fascination with clothing, and accessories… and oh lordy, I love shoes. It’s a condition, I think my husband might be planning an intervention soon. But all that beatiful stuff on the exterior - really is just an expression of God’s gift of creativity. I love being creative. Clothing is just one expression.

So, maybe one day you’ll see me in diaper pants and a onesie…. we’ll see.

Gabriel, Katrina, Sammy

Me and husband Jason

Forrest and Bronte

We are all very proud to see him going off to live the dream of playing music for a living. No strings attached. 18 with a whole new world in front of him… and I hope he has the time of his life!…. and stays true to his faith, his amazing girlfriend Bronte (cause she’s …amazing), and that he always stays as kind.

Run, Forrest Run!

So yesterday I spent the majority of the day celebrating the birth and life of one of my favorites… Elisa. She is a beatiful soul, kind and generous with lots to offer planet earth. I’m blessed to know her. She’s the kinda girl that makes you think “hey, if I could pick someone else to be, I’d be HER!” … it’s true.

Of course being me is fabulous as well, what can I say (wink, wink).

There are some people in your life, that come by surprise… Elisa is one of those. I never really thought we’d be very close, but it seems divine intervention had other plans. And I’m SUPER glad God likes me enough to let me be her friend. YAY GOD!

I know her sister Hannah, and have known her longer than Elisa. Both girls are amazing. From an amazing family actually, full of love and bright personality.
It got me thinking about this concept of friendship, and how really - it is a choice. I have often struggled in the past with friendships simply because I am more reserved and shy (well, until you get to know me - then you find out I’m actually kinda crazy) and not always sure what to say or how to say it. I am one of those that goes over what to say in my head a million times, only for it to come bursting out all weird and totally not what I was wanting to say. My response to that? … just keep quiet, Amy.

I shut down.

Really I am just bursting at the seems for someone to share life with and bless the socks off of. That is my greatest joy, actually. But this fear of being misunderstood is such an annoying little bug. It takes me oh-so-long to simply open up.

So, l’ve decided really - those friends that are worth it will realize my faults in communication and still love me because they will know my heart. And that is simply to love others. In that act, I’m learning to love myself too. …But they will also be friends that encourage me to be the better Amy, the one that doesn’t hide. Cause she’s pretty awesome. Thank you for being one of those friends, Elisa.